I’m sure you’ve heard it before. It goes by many names; Murphy’s Law, Mercury in Retrograde, Human Error, Bad Luck, Black Cats, Lucky Number 13...if you believe in superstitions or voodoo (I do), some times the Universe has its own inexplicable plan and the best thing you can do is surrender to it’s omnipotent and unrelenting forces. In the end, everything gets a fair shake, things pan out, people quench their satisfactions and all will right itself in the ancient order of great feels and timely (delayed) wants.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles…no, really. Would you like to hear the story of the Alien Day Hot Topic exclusive? So then, I will tell you. The kind folks at Hot Topic opted in on a “first look” TLS Aliens exclusive. TLS had powered through a micro production of a beautiful black matte 3.75” xenomporh with a spring loaded inner jaw, a bendy tail, and articulation of the extraterrestrial kind. The commemorative Alien Day xenomorph comes with a commemorative “Alien Day” foot stamp, and collectors box. If you’re a Giger, TLS, Action Vinyls, Hot Topic , Ridley Scott or Sci-Fi fan this is a must have, magnified more so by the low edition size. Everyone is pumped! The Nerdette does an amazing periscope featuring the terrifying and agile creature, TLS splashes the omni destructive xenomorph all over our social media – this is going to be HUGE! The production is finished, just in time for a barely postponed Alien Day drop. Excitement swells. Then wanting “colonists” search the vast reaches of space for rich finds, to find nothing. A day goes by, another day, then another, still no xenomorphs to bag, tag and take home to the trophy case. What gives? This gives! The kind folks from the forwarding Company opted to send the entire shipment to Atlanta. The problem? Hot Topic’s DC is in LaVergne, TN. A far hop from Atlanta…believe us, LaVergne, TN was specified on the shipment instructions. The story gets better. After fumbling the items through keystone cops levels of cloddishness, the xenomorphs finally popped out the other end of Customs’ trachea, like a good little xenomorph baby should (the host heart still beating as the host’s throat spills onto the tarmac). The items are released to the airlines in Atlanta. After some passionate sonnets by yours truly to the forwarding agents, the folks find it in their kind hearts to correct their mistake and ship our beloved xenomorphs to LaVergne. Trucker 1 misses the pickup, let's wait for tomorrow. Trucker 2 misses the pickup, let's again wait for the following day. Trucker 3 misses their pickup window, again, another day must pass. This is happening against the backdrop of what could only and comparably, (and audibly), be-sound a passionate performance rivaling Liz Taylor’s meltdown in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf”. The Forwarding Agent lucidly absorbs the passionate performance which raises their hand to relay the well deserved Oscar (for moi), finally securing a truck as an “or bust” ultimatum, or a “you better drive it yourself” option. They opted to make sure their designated trucker picked up the cargo and got their ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ tail to LaVergne as fast as Dolly Parton could hum the musical hit, “9 to 5”, or as fast as Burt Reynolds could upholster a rec room with lushes chest hair. Jokingly, we asked the forwarder if the cargo delivered (our expectations blown to smithereens like the remnants of the Death Star), which he replied, as if the house was not burning down these last two weeks for him, “Yes, it delivered Saturday.” I simply replied “LOL”. So, there you have it folks – Planes, Trains and Automobiles! You can’t make this stuff up. I’ve seen it all, nearly 10 years in with TLS, you just have to laugh, or call yourself Pied Piper.
Conclusion – Hot Topic has receipt of the xenomorphs and I’m sure they will be up for sale (FINALLY!) this week! So keep your eyes peeled and don’t let those face huggers hug too tight!